you really cant help a person til they help themself..or tell them something til they make that mistake themself .. such a helpless feeling when you see it happening, even tho it works out in the end (learn from your mistakes)..but of course i am the same way what right do i have to care? lol…idk im just talkin out of my head. goodnight.
to be established in my tattoo career
and have a baby with the lovee of my life…seein my best friends kid makes me realize that..im calling it out right here and saying that i think my first kid will be a girl ;p
oh and to be living in another country..or at least a whole another section of the us haha
idk i felt the need to update my tubler and this is first to mind
:D
STATUS UPDATE:
still saving money..im flat broke! money saving is hard, especially that i blow it on stupid shit! but 180 that…
Smoke free for about 2 months! cigarettes of course, had to cheat to do it, but feels good to be off it :D
Apartment is number 1 conecrn now, and tryin to score an apprenticeship..and maybe a new job …time time time…fuckkk
I feel like alot of my friends are either still have another year or so to figure out what they’re doing or just looking like lumps under a log! .. but for me i CANT have this!, so this isnt good, i need some extreme changes…soon, i feel like things will look up for the winter lets keep it at it.
i have an extreme addiction to mm pretzels, i started with the small bags, then the movie theathr boxes, and now to even bigger bags :0, yikes…
and i also wonder if ill ever look back at these posts in like 10 years lol..just remember i was a dumbass lol
today is one of the most worst fucking days ive ever had in a long time…and for no fucking reason…ill live everyday staying as positive as i can be and then everything will just crumble right in front of me….again and again..and i know that you just have to keep moving forward maybe its supposed to happen but this is oddly reoccurring. i think im a person that can take alot of beating but this really takes a toll on myself..my heart my pride..idk everything..is this what i really get for the choices i made? sometimes i feel like god truly hates me or if he is trying to tell me something i am having the hardest time understanding..ive truly asked for forgiveness i am truly sorry for everything ive ever done..are horrors really this hard to face? what are my horrors? and why has everyone seemed to beat them ? ive always seemed to pull thru with everything in life…most of the time way better than others..but this just crushes me oh well ill just keep moving forward cause i know nothing else to do. but please know i have never desired for anything more in my life than this change. oh well this isnt for pity, facebook is too public to vent and i just had to write my emotions somewhere i guess…ha
